Tuesday 19 November 2013

Ch-Ch-Ch Changes?

So just at the point where I'm totally accepting Lyra for who she is and what she might become, she puts "A Doll" on the top of her Christmas list. I asked her why and she said sometimes she'd like to be girly. Which is great, of course she can be whatever, but I spent so long wanting her to change and now I don't want her to change and I guess she MIGHT BE CHANGING.

Although I'm not sure that she is. I'm thinking that there is a bit of an outside influence from her friends who are girls because she's mentioned a couple of times that sometimes she only gets to play with them if she plays "girl" games. She wants to play with the boys and now with the girls too so she has to change the way that she plays if she wants to hang out with certain friends. Which is fine, because she seems happy enough to do it, but that little girl I so wanted might be on the cards - and I don't want her! I'm joking of course. But she has been so happy in her skin lately, that if she changes I hope that continues.

It's brilliant, this kid constantly surprises me and changes ME.

I adore the gender-fluid, non-conforming, boy/girl that I have grown to love for her confidence and comfort in being herself. I'd be GUTTED if outside stuff was having an effect on this as she gets older. I don't want her to bury who she really is just so she can play with certain friends or be seen a certain way. I'd hate for her to be in some kind of closet when she shouldn't even be opening those doors.

Next September she goes to middle school where there is a definite divide between boys and girls, especially with sports teams. And she'll be turning ten so some hormones might start to kick in. But as long as she goes with what she feels happy with, well, that's all that matters.

I'm hoping that Father Christmas brings her the doll and I hope she has a lot of fun with it. Especially when she ties it to the skateboard that's also on her list.

My Christmas list this year simply reads this - for me to learn to accept any changes, and to love her for who she is.


3 comments:

  1. A seasoned mother once told me that the moment they stop playing with dolls they start playing with "boys". Which would you rather?

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  2. We have skateboard on our list for Santa too. And a whole selection of One Direction items!! :-)

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  3. I'm sure I once got a skateboard the same year I got a Tiny Tears :-)

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